Richard Rohr notes how in the English language we speak of “falling” in love. We don’t simply choose to love, like choosing a meal for dinner. We don’t schedule love either, like how we would schedule a meeting at work. It takes a humble and vulnerable falling in order to love authentically, and therefore it takes someone to catch us as well. Often the one who does the catching after one “falls in love” becomes a spouse but of course the ultimate Catcher, the one who we are called to continuously fall into and lean on, is God. 

This concept of vulnerable falling is like resting your head on your pillow as you fall asleep. If you try to force your head onto the pillow with a demanding force, then you won’t be able to fall asleep and your neck will begin to strain. Likewise, if you try to keep your head held up, so that the head is making contact with the pillow but not sinking deeply into it, you again would not be able to fall asleep and your neck would begin to strain. Sometimes we twist and turn in bed as we struggle to fall asleep. Sometimes we flip the pillow searching for a cooler side and sometimes we even punch the pillow with anger or fluff it strategically. 

All these examples of the interactions between our heads and our pillows symbolizes us saying “our will be done” rather than saying to God “thy will be done”. It is only with a peaceful surrender of the head into the pillow that allows one to fall asleep. Once the wrestling and our one anxieties rest, then peaceful sleep begins. 

Falling in love with God is not like walking down the steps or taking an elevator. It is like jumping out of a plane to be truly ‘freefalling’. Leaning on God is not like leaning against a sturdy wall, it is like leaning backwards into a trust fall.

It is with that same surrender that I pray you will lean on God. By doing so, you will soon realize that God also chooses to lean on you to carry out the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth.